DUNCAN MALASHOCK

The First Thing You Ever Said to Me
AUGUST 13

the first thing
you ever said to me
was, about your girlfriend,
“don’t let her intimidate you.”

it’s getting harder now
to persuade myself
i’m worthless to other women,
but i can still do it

if i ignore the way we
stood hip to hip
at the pool table,
read aloud from leather zines
together in the Archives,
joked about how uncomfortable
that sex scene was
in the Akerman flick.

it was my freshman year,
and i got beaten up
at the lesbian bar
for looking like a girl.

In the Sex Dungeon with You
JULY 27

in the sex dungeon with you,
i focused on being
a good conversationalist

while in front of us,
lit vermillion in harness,
a leatherdyke fucked their
ball-gagged underling.

i reviewed evidence:
i wasn’t your type,
didn’t know you well enough
to ask if i could kiss you,
play with your hair,
touch your bare shoulder.
in our black lace bras
we stood like sisters.

the couple passed by us
as if through a stage door;
i held back my applause.

the maze was a grid
of black plywood.
inside it we found a lonely spot—

you told me your troubles:
social anxiety,
insular couples,
one-word answers.

i tried to be a thoughtful friend
in this wild place
where anything could happen,
like the rest of the world.

Duncan Malashock is a poet in Brooklyn. She's feeling more confident speaking in groups, and she has a crush on Debra Winger.